No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
