I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
