What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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