Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
