I have demons in me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize