The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
