sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
