So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
