I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
