I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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