I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
