ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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