I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
