Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
