This is not my ceiling
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
