Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
