Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
