I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
