I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
