i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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