A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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