He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
