Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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