***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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