I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
