In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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