Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
