my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Randomize
