i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
