i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
