I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
