She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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