he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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