Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
