whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
