dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
