It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
