Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
