Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
