He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
