This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My vagina just clenched in fear
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
