Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
