I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No subtext here. People are naked.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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