And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my shit smells like andre
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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