Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
