At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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