I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
