I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
