We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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