recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
