your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We got so high we made milksteak
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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