well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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