I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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