I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
