i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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