That's when you crack a 10am beer
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
