HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Who died my cat blue again?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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