Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just want nice things and good sex
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
