I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
