ya dads aren't the best wingmen
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
