Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
