I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Damn victory sex feels great
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
